In relationships, be that business or personal, I've come to realise that moving at the same velocity is important in making the relationship successful and fulfilling for both parties.

Moving at different velocities drains the relationship of energy. Moving at the same velocity invigorates it.

Velocity is both speed and direction. Are we both moving at the same speed and going in the same direction? Like cars sharing the same lane on a road, travelling at different velocities will lead to a crash or distant separation at some point.

There is no wrong speed. Fast and slow are personal and relative. After selling my business, I had the opportunity to join an early stage startup. On every call with the co-founders, I was impressed by how much they'd accomplished since we'd last spoke, and the urgency at which they moved.

Coming out of a hectic few months handing over the keys to my business, I felt they were pulling me to move at a speed I was not ready for. The speed I needed at that time was calmer and not as chaotic.

When the velocity is off, you feel a push or a pull. It's either you dragging them at a speed or in a direction they don't want to go in, or them dragging you. Either way, it is tiring.

I made an angel investment in a company that's been around a couple of years but has a promising technology component. The founder's challenge is to stop working in the business and start working on it. They're always busy with customers and working hard. However, the velocity they're moving at to progress the company is slow (relative to my expectations). It feels like I am dragging them to each milestone, and we are not moving together.

It is not that the velocities have to be absolutely matched. People, teams, and companies do move at different velocities at different times. We can help each other speed up or slow down, and course correct. We'll go through times when we're further apart and others when we're closer together. It's only a problem when you feel that you're dragging them along, or they're dragging you.

But when velocities are closely matched, it's magic. It's a feeling I'd describe like flow state. You're all in the same zone, moving as one, feeding off of each other's energy, on the same journey, better together.